LIfe Skills

It’s easy to assume that life just happens regardless of what we do. While it is certainly true that we can’t control every event and circumstance around us, there are many issues where we could influence the impact and outcome, if we just knew how.

Recognising the areas where we lack strength, purpose and direction can be confronting and uncomfortable, but addressing these things can lead to tremendous liberty. Do we think that we are destined to relate to the world in a certain way because that’s how our family has always done it? Do we accept that our life choices have certain limitations because we have no idea how to challenge them? Most of us would answer “yes” to these questions, but that is not necessarily the truth. Similarly, we may have strengths which we are not fully aware of, or which we don’t know how to take to the next level. This is where life skills are invaluable.

We all have certain skills and abilities which we develop from infancy, such as feeding ourselves, dressing and brushing our teeth. As we grow, these skills grow with us and may include things such as reading, managing money, learning to drive a car or use a computer. Such things make our lives easier and more effective and help us to get more out of life. But these are not the skills I am looking at here.

There are skills which go beyond practical and technical abilities. Each person may rank them differently according to their priorities. There is no right or wrong order, but developing them will greatly enrich your life.

• Assertiveness Not to be confused with aggression or bossiness, this is the ability to appropriately explain and defend beliefs, attitudes and behaviours which are important to you. A vital part of this is being able to take this stance while having enough self-control to stay calm..
• Coping with conflict is an essential part of life which none of us escapes. If you want to do it well and avoid ending up in a war, then counselling can support you in this journey.
• Critical thinking does not mean finding faults. Rather it is the ability to identify, understand and evaluate the parts and processes of an issue in order to form a judgement.
• Decision making Something we do every day, but not always with the result we are hoping for. Discovering your strengths and weaknesses sets you on a path to clearer more effective decisions.
• Effective communication Have you noticed that many people who are real achievers in life are able to inspire others with their words? While communication goes beyond speech, counselling can identify the barriers in your style of communication and help you overcome them.
• Empathy This is the ability to stand in another person’s shoes, and view the world from their perspective. A rare ability, it is a great strengthener of relationships.
• Interpersonal relationships Strengthen the way you connect with others by learning about your own personal style.
• Problem solving is more than just coming up with an answer or solution. It’s a process of exploring all the options and identifying the best one for any situation. Exploring the things which may hold you back in this area can open new ways of approaching challenges.
• Resilience is the ability to bounce back from negative, harmful or disappointing events.
• Self-awareness How well do you really know yourself? Are you sometimes surprised by the way in which others see you? A clearer self-view will make your ability to handle the unexpected things in life more effectively.

Support from a professional counsellor can enhance all of these life skills, even if you feel they have not even begun to develop in you. A call to Alli at Point of Change Counselling Ararat could be the first step in building a new and stronger you.