Bullying

This is no longer just about one child standing over another in the school yard. Bullying is common in the workplace, the community and social settings. Even authority doesn't always give protection as we hear of teachers being tormented by students, police being turned on by criminals and bosses being sabotaged by employees.

Bullying can involve:

• Verbal abuse, such as gossip, teasing, swearing, put downs or lies.
• Physical aggression.
• Non-verbal threats such as gestures or facial expressions.
• Intimidation, for example making unreasonable demands of another person.
• Isolation by excluding an individual inappropriately from certain activities, privileges etc.
• Electronic means. Increasingly we are seeing bullying taking place in cyberspace, with targeted individuals being hounded via phone, email, texts or on social media sites.

Indications of bullying:

• Shyness/withdrawal around others
• Evidence of anxiety or distress in the presence of specific people or situations
• Avoidance of certain people or situations
• Drop in performance at school/work
• Low self-esteem or self-criticism
• Isolation (either by choice or because they are not included)
• Trouble expressing their thoughts or feelings clearly
• "Acting out", for example in risk-taking or attention-seeking behaviours.

No matter what age we are, bullying always affects us and our relationships in similar ways. We may experience embarrassment, fear of rejection, an increased sense of shame and low self-esteem. Sometimes we can even show signs of illness - disturbed sleep, nausea, headaches and vague aches and pains.

Counselling can bring hope of change for both those who are being bullied and those who are responsible. At Point of Change Counselling, we can help you to understand what triggers your behaviours and can help you to discover alternatives which will serve you better. We can explore your family history, the impact of your personality and the reasons why you make the choices that you do. Working with a skilled counsellor, in a safe and confidential environment can be the beginning of healing for both bullies and the bullied.

For help in dealing with bullying, contact Alli at Point Of Change Counselling and make an appointment.