Coping With Change

Some things in life are inevitable. They affect everyone regardless of age, gender, race or social status. Change is one of those things. It can be planned for, or can take us by surprise, but we can still make choices around how we respond.

The impact of change can take many forms. Surprisingly, even when the change itself is happy or positive, such as a birth or wedding, we can be puzzled to find that we struggle with negativity. Many people have a sense of loss, which triggers sadness or even depression. Others report anxiety in differing degrees. So if we can't avoid change, how do we work with it?

What Helps?

• Only you can decide how much importance you give to each change. It doesn't have to be overwhelming unless you decide that's how it's going to be.
• Accept that emotional challenges are an inevitable part of the package, so don't beat up on yourself for "not coping'', or "not being strong".
• Ask for help and enlist support when you need it. This could be practical or emotional.
• Identify clearly what things about your new situation you can still control. It's when we respond as though everything is beyond us, that we invite helplessness and discouragement.
• Share honestly what's going on for you with others - your thoughts, feelings, needs, fears. This is where counselling can be incredibly helpful, if you feel that your loved ones are burdened by what's happening.
• Be honest with yourself - that's the only way you can meet your real needs.
• Allow some time to take things easy and be kind to yourself.
• Make a list of all the things you have going for you.
• Seek out new resources to fill any gaps, so you can move forward.
• Remember how you have managed change well in the past. If you feel you haven't done this, then look for examples of people around you who have done well and try copying them.
• Take an inventory of all the positive things that might arise from this change. Read it often.
• Set new goals which allow for your changed circumstances.
• Regroup, rebuild, retrain.
• Never lose sight of the fact that this is still your life and you have choices.

For help in coping with change, contact Alli at Point Of Change Counselling and make an appointment.