Point Of Change Counselling
promoting change that heals
face-to-face, Skype or telephone appointments available
"Robert" was a charmer. Everyone who met him agreed he had a great personality, was confident and seemed to be able to make things happen. The fact that he was also good looking didn't seem to hurt either. Yes, everyone loved Robert - until they got to know him. He drew people to him like flies to honey, but didn't have a single long term friend. In fact he'd never been able to maintain a long-term relationship of any kind, moving on as soon as things were no longer going his way. He ran away from personal challenge, so had never been able to hold a job for long either. But to hear him speak, you could be forgiven for thinking that he was successful at everything he turned his hand to. He was so convincing that he had come to believe the things that he told others. He saw the world in fairly black and white terms: he deserved everything good, bad things belonged to somebody else and he was interested in other people as long as they were meeting his needs. If they were hurt in the process, that was part of their stuff and nothing to do with him.
Because of his initial attractiveness, it's not easy to realise that "Robert" is in fact suffering from a personality disorder - narcissism. Unlike some forms of mental illness, personality disorders are harder to spot because the individual affected, often appears to carry on with life with some degree of success. It is only a closer look that lets us see that there are certain extreme and rigid patterns of thinking and behaving at work. For example, in Robert's case, his belief that life should always give him exactly what he wanted, allowed him to abandon a string of partners (and children) when, from his point of view, the demands of those relationships outweighed the benefits. It also meant that he saw things such as child support as unnecessary, since he didn't gain anything from it.
Broadly speaking, personality disorders fall into three various categories:
Despite these many variations, there are also several characteristics which personality disorders have in common.
Working with a trained counsellor can be effective not only for the individual who is living with a personality disorder, but for those in their support network, family and friends. Education can better equip people to understand the disorder and position them to make helpful choices. Priority is given to managing self harm and thoughts of suicide. As well as helping individuals to learn new ways of responding to people and situations.
Living with a personality disorder can leave you feeling very isolated and misunderstood. At Point of Change Counselling, you will receive the time, support and attention which can help you towards better management of your unique challenges.
If you need support with a personality disorder, contact Alli at Point Of Change Counselling to make an appointment.