Point Of Change Counselling
promoting change that heals
face-to-face, Skype or telephone appointments available
"Liz" threw a big party to celebrate the granting of her divorce. Although she had been pushed into it by an unfaithful partner who wanted to start a new life with his new love, Liz had worked hard to convince herself that she and her two children would be better off without the husband and father who no longer wanted them. So when weeks after the party she was still crying herself to sleep and struggling to deal with the growing anger which her children felt towards their Dad, but directed towards her in his absence, Liz wondered when it would all get better.
The grief which accompanies divorce or separation is different in some respects from that which results from losing a partner to death. The core of this seems to revolve around the element of rejection involved. If a partner dies, then we are bereft, but don't feel responsible. If a partner chooses to leave a relationship with us, then we frequently assume that we are somehow lacking and therefore to blame. "Why couldn't I make them happy? Why wasn't I good enough? What has the other person offered my partner that I couldn't?" These are common questions from people who find themselves newly single.
While it will take time to work through the pain of separation and divorce, it will help to understand that there are certain stages involved in the process of this grieving. These are not covered in any particular order or timeframe - we will all make the journey differently - but it can save us from being too hard on ourselves if we recognise that we are neither a "bad" person, nor losing our mind, when we experience grief in particular ways.
Often people going through divorce or separation feel that their friends and family run out of patience and empathy, long before they are finished with the grieving process. This is where accessing the services of an experienced counsellor can be invaluable. At Point of Change Counselling we have over twenty years of experience in supporting people who are going through this painful process. We can help you to express your grief in a safe and confidential environment, so that you can move towards recovery.
For help and support in recovering from and divorce or separation, contact Alli at Point Of Change Counselling to make an appointment.